I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.