It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

But there is only one thing which gathers people into seditious commotion, and that is oppression

A good liar must have a good memory.

I don't try to imagine a personal god; it suffices to stand in awe at the structure of the world, insofar as it allows our inadequate senses to appreciate it.

Gold and silver from the dead turn often into lead.

The idea of freedom is inspiring. But what does it mean? If you are free in a political sense but have no food, what's that? The freedom to starve?

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve the name.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Delay always breeds danger. To protract a great design is often to ruin it.

All men are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their ideals are threatened.

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.

Since it is difficult to join them together, it is safer to be feared than to be loved when one of the two must be lacking.

The future ain't what it used to be.

Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

The speed of the leader is the speed of the gang.

A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.

Give them pleasure. The same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.