When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.