I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.