Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.