Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.