There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.