If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.