Sex is an emotion in motion.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I'm single because I was born that way.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.