May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
I'm single because I was born that way.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.