If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.