This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.