What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
