I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Sex is an emotion in motion.