I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.