The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.