If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!