I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.