Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.