Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.