There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.