Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.