Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.