There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Men are as faithful as their options.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.