Sex is an emotion in motion.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Men are as faithful as their options.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!