If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
Men are as faithful as their options.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?