I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.