I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.