Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?

I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.