I just want to retire before I go senile because if I don't retire before I go senile, then I'll do more damage than good at that point.

Every man's memory is his private literature.

I have often been accused of putting my foot in my mouth, but I will never put my hand in your pockets

Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home.

Jests that give pains are not jests.

In the increasingly convincing darkness the words become palpable, like a fruit that is too beautiful to eat.

Of all the things I`ve lost I miss my mind the most.

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.

No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.

When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

We princes are set as it were upon stages in the sight and view of the world.

All is disgust when a man leaves his own nature and does what is unfit.

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.

I am one of those who think like Nobel, that humanity will draw more good than evil from new discoveries.

The word 'good' has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.

Sanity is a madness put to good uses.

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

When people talk of the freedom of writing, speaking or thinking I cannot choose but laugh. No such thing ever existed. No such thing now exists; but I hope it will exist. But it must be hundreds of years after you and I shall write and speak no more.

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.