Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.