Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.