I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.