His modesty amounts to deformity.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Common sense is not so common.

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

Any non-commissioned officer is more of an enemy to a recruit, any schoolmaster to a pupil, then they are if they were free.

A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, - a mere heart of stone.

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Our greatest foes - and whom we must chiefly combat - are within.

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good I've never bothered to read another.

It is the story that owns and directs us. It is the thing that makes us different from cattle; it is the mark on the face that sets one people apart from their neighbors.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.

Reverence does not die with mortals, nor does it perish whether they live or die.

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.

Any product that needs a manual to work is broken.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and thats to get rid of all my other desires.

I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast.

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present.