Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

One must judge men not by their opinions, but by what their opinions have made of them.

The two offices of memory are collection and distribution.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.

One's only rival is one's own potentialities. One's only failure is failing to live up to one's own possibilities. In this sense, every man can be a king, and must therefore be treated like a king.

Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.

Your personal nature seeks its paradise.

Religion and art spring from the same root and are close kin. Economics and art are strangers.

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

I can bear any pain as long as it has meaning.

I must not write a word to you about politics, because you are a woman.

Central banks don't have divine wisdom. They try to do the best analysis they can and must be prepared to stand or fall by the quality of that analysis.

No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

The death of a beautiful woman, is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

The people who are doing the work are the moving force behind the Macintosh. My job is to create a space for them, to clear out the rest of the organization and keep it at bay.