Humility is attentive patience.

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.

You are like my little dog; when people see you, they know I am nearby.

I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us; and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic

He who surpasses or subdues mankind must look down on the hate of those below.

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.

Any non-commissioned officer is more of an enemy to a recruit, any schoolmaster to a pupil, then they are if they were free.

The speed of the leader is the speed of the gang.

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

They have formed their own 4-H club - the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.

Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Freedom lies in being bold.

The lifestyle I`ve been living for the last 30 years, I could have been dead a thousand times.

As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.