That's the trouble with the world. We all despise ourselves.

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.

Life's pretty good, and why wouldn't it be? I'm a pirate, after all.

I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot.

Im not in this world to live up to your expectations and youre not in this world to live up to mine.

If man limits himself to a satisfied animal existence, and asks from life only what such an existence can give, the higher values of life at once disappear.

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.

Life is made up of marble and mud.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.

During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.

Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.

The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.

If you have been sunned through and through like an apricot on a wall from your earliest days, you are oversensitive to any withdrawal of heat.

I think it can be shown that the law makes ten criminals where it restrains one.

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.

I have always regarded myself as the pillar of my life.