This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Cynicism is humour in ill health.
The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.