My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.