A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.