It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.