A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I'm single because I was born that way.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.