I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.