When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.