Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.