Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.