I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

I’ve been bitten by a python. It wasn’t a very big one…

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.