Women are made to be loved not understood.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.