I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I have nothing but respect for you - and not much of that.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.