Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.