I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.