Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.