The mind that finds its way to wild places is the poet's; but the mind that never finds its way back is the lunatic's.

I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

A good liar must have a good memory.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

We are all now connected by the Internet, like neurons in a giant brain.

All men are liable to error; and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptation to it.

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

If you talk bad about country music, it's like saying bad things about my momma. Them's fightin' words.

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

That which costs little is less valued.

Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire.

I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.

I just want to retire before I go senile because if I don't retire before I go senile, then I'll do more damage than good at that point.

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse it with the Salvation Army.

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.

A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.