What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
I'm single because I was born that way.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
Iíve been bitten by a python. It wasnít a very big oneÖ